I can't feel my body

Finally hitting the gym and it makes it so much easier to go when I have someone to go with! Katie and I tried Sculpting/BOSU fitness last night at a 6pm class. Classes are one hour long but that one felt like four. The instructor was nice but she kicked our butts, the reps consisted of:

20 Squats

15 Sit Ups

20 Running Lunges (SO HARD)

10 Push ups

Doesn't seem like a lot does it? Well do all three in that order as fast as you can as many times as you can it 2 minutes and 30 seconds, especially while keeping up with the women that beast it at the gym. HARD! Some of the other work outs we did in the class require a lot of core fitness which while at this class I discovered I have slim to none, which made it extremely hard to keep up let alone finish the exercises. On top of that I'm pretty sure I need to see a doctor about my acid indigestion, that made it extremely hard for me towards the end of the class. Certain positions made the burn so much worse in my throat and stomach it was awful!

Now I know it is going to be extremely hard and not cake and I'm not expecting it to be. I'm certainly not trying to say I can't either but that is one class that I need to be a little stronger for before I take again.

This morning at 7am Katie and I tried Spin Class for the first time and we both loved it! Now best believe I brought my Tums with me just in case! I loved the instructor she was so nice and helpful, she didn't take it easy on us she kicked our butts for sure but I didn't feel like I couldn't do it at all. It is definitely a class I will keep attending! After the class we told her how we couldn't keep up with the class last night because of the whole core thing and she recommended we take pilates to strengthen our core. 

8:30 AM Friday Pilates class here we come!

I will let you know how it goes, Thanks again for everyone's support :)

Stress needs to leave me alone.

Stress does many things to people for example:

• Makes people lose weight
• Makes peoples hair fall out
• Makes people sleep deprived 
• Makes people gain weight
• etc.

You will NEVER guess which one of the above options happens to me when I get stressed. Yep, you guessed it. When I get stress the pounds pack on, see it's too bad it's not the other way around because I am constantly stressed out. I would probably be 90 lbs. if I lost weight during high stress.

Nothing seems to be going right lately, HUGE problems at work, the pounds keep coming on, Financial issues, family problems. Sigh. SOMETHING GOOD HAPPEN PLEASE!

I swear I have taken like 3 pregnancy tests just to see what the heck is going on with my weight gain but of course, negative after negative (thank god).

I can say I finally have two supportive women in my life, not that I haven't had tons of support over the internet and through E-mails because I have and I appreciate all of it..in fact please keep it coming. I have re-connected with an old friend Chelsea who works at GNC and is a health nut which is great because she can help guide me with vitamins/supplements and things to do at the gym, also an old friend named Katie who is dying to lose weight just as much as I am. We have planned to get together Friday night to set a gym schedule and not to let eachother back out unless it's an emergency! Between Chelsea, Katie, and I this goal should come to life!

There are a few other friends that I would love to go to the gym with but our schedules completely conflict in every way possible but they still support me verbally and over the internet (thanks guys). With Thanksgiving coming up I'm going to try to keep my cool with all of the delicious foods around me but man, I need to learn to have will power.

My husband and I are headed to GA tonight to visit family for the holiday, I will write again as soon as I get home! I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Trying Something New

OKAY! I have decided that following a book is not for me! It just doesn't make me want to stick to it. I'm sure there are some people out there who know what I'm talking about right? The way I see it is, you buy a book and it tells you what to eat and when to eat it for a week or maybe even two weeks, tops. Then you make allllll of those recipes and then what? You eat the same recipe everyday for the rest of your life? No thanks. 

Sure, sure...it's a lifestyle change and there are plenty of things you can make with all of the ingredients that the book gives you! OH WAIT, that's in a different book than the first one I bought so let me spend another $35.00 plus S+H and wait another week or two while eating the same recipes before the book of shopping ingredients or cookbook comes in...again, No thanks! 

I have a cheaper way of doing it and I know many of you have done it but the way I look at it it's really not that bad, it's what my friend Stephanie does from a previous post. Just count your calories (at first)! In a conversation with her I said, "I don't want to carry around a measuring cup in my purse for the rest of my life". She said, you don't have to count your calories at first, reach your goal and then it's all about moderating your portions and eating healthier. You don't need a book and recipes for that it's just common sense, A BigMac or a Salad? What's better for you? Clearly you know the answer.

On top of my calorie counting call me a cheater but a girl at GNC talked me into buying a dietary supplement and I'm NOT about pills trust me but I'm going on my third day of these and it's not bad, normally these pills are hopped up with some serious caffeine and my body HATES caffeine, one of these pills is the equivalent to one cup of coffee and honestly I didn't even notice. There are TONS of great reviews on these pills so check them out! 

Wish me luck on my calorie counting, pill taking, pushing  myself to the gym adventure. 

I hope you all aren't sick of my negativity but it's just all part of my battle right?

'Tis the Season!

Now when I say 'tis the season I don't mean holidays I mean...YES! I get to wear my big baggy hoodies and jeans! No more shorts! No more tanks! Is that any way to feel? No, absolutely not. Yet I can't help but be excited, although I even feel disgusting in my jeans and hoodies. I know all you ladies know what I'm talking about when I say I can't wait to bury my body in baggy winter clothing..Sigh. I keep telling myself "self, don't get too excited spring and summer are just around the corner and you have to break those shorts out again or you will sweat to death.

On another note, I weighed myself this morning and the numbers were awful.. 184 pounds.. I was crushed at 180 and this is just devastating. I can see every pound of it too, for heavens sake I look pregnant. The sad part is I wish I could blame it on that, but there is no possible way I could be. I have Marks 21 day body make over but I don't feel as though it's specific enough on things I can and can't eat, it needs recipes. I need some help! 

Basically I'm like a child when it comes to this..SPELL IT OUT FOR ME!

You would think I have enough motivation by how disgusted I am by my own reflection but nooo, still excuse after excuse. I want this so bad, I look in the mirror and my stomach protrudes, I have stretch marks around my belly button and on both of my sides from when I was a teenager (they are white now but they used to be red). My love handles are disgusting but the worst part is are my arms. I hate them with a passion! They are freakishly fatter than the rest of me like my weight doesn't distribute evenly. Not to mention my inner thighs, UGH, They rub together when I walk. The thing that crushes me the most is that I haven't even been married a month and my rings are getting tighter on my fingers. I just want to cry.

Now isn't all of that reason enough for me to just get up and do it? You would think so but apparently not! I need a push people.

What is it that needs to SNAP in me and say "HEY, YOU! yeah you with the weight problem! Get off of your butt and do something about it! Change yourself if you don't like it!"

I need help!

Let me clear the air

I received a comment tonight basically saying that I am contradicting myself and that I think women are only beautiful if they fit societies expectations on how a woman should look to be beautiful..WRONG.

I think everyone is beautiful, all women and men of all shapes and sizes. You don't have to be a size 0 to be beautiful you can be a size 18 and be gorgeous! Although, I may think you are beautiful and you may look in the mirror and hate everything about yourself..be in that self loathing state. A lot of us have been there. I have people tell me I am beautiful every single day but you know what? I don't feel it and that is all that matters. The entire reason why I am here is to track my weight loss and the changes I can make within my self and also on the outside of myself, but more importantly a lot of women are scared to step up and talk. Scared what people may think of them if they speak out but that's okay there is nothing wrong with that. That's why I do this, I want to touch the women that don't feel beautiful on the outside and want to fix it, the women that need support and don't know where to go to find it. Do I think that if you are completely obese and you sit on the couch and are killing yourself that I should praise you? No but I will pray for you that someday you find the strength to change yourself for the better, for health and for you to feel beautiful so you can be happy inside. I will continue to praise the women out there that realize they are overweight or obese and they want to change. There is nothing contradictory about my blog, I think societies way of pushing size 0's down everyones throat until they believe that's what they need to be to become beautiful is sick. If you are a size 18 and you want to be a size 12 I praise you! Is a size 12 societies expectations of what a female body looks like? Hell no! but you know what it makes YOU feel beautiful to be a size 12 and that is all that matters!!

Set a goal for yourself to where YOU feel beautiful and comfortable in your own skin and do it! You can and I will help you. Everyone is beautiful the way that they are but they need to believe it themselves for it to matter. Good luck on your journey's everyone! 

Motivation+Inspiration=Success!

Good afternoon All!

I'm sorry I didn't blog yesterday, it was a pretty hectic day. I did not make time for the gym and I am kicking myself in the butt for it today. Joey bummed his leg playing for the squadron football team so he didn't feel up to joining me as well. We are going tonight though, of course you will hear all about how it went.

Confession time

We went to columbia today to get some decorations for the house from Hobby Lobby. We went to McDonald's for lunch. SIGH. What do you do when you are STARVING and have an hour drive before you get home. I see fast food place after fast food place after fast food place and its so convenient to eat a McDouble while driving home. You can't exactly eat a salad while driving and when you just don't have the time to go in.

I know I know, wait until you get home and eat something healthy.

That just goes along with me learning how to curve my appetite, I will do it and you guys will help me I'll get there! That's the most important thing is telling myself I will get there. We all have hiccups in the beginning right?

Now for a special treat! You want some motivation? Well I will deliver.

Inspiration and Motivation today go by the name of Stephanie Demott. A very close friend of mine growing up. Now I have first handedly seen this girl battle her weight, and battle her life. She can tell you all about it in her incredible story and her before and after pictures are enough to make you hit the highway to a gym as soon as possible! Congratulations Stephanie you look amazing and are an inspiration to all of us!

Here is her story

A lot of people have asked me how I lost all the weight I did and I thought I would just share a small story of my journey..SO FAR. After having my second baby Allie.. I started at at 163 pounds.. So I started a weight loss competition back in January at that point I wanted to lose weight but I was in it more for the competition and the money more than anything, I got down to about 133 pounds and right after started back into my old ways with the over-eating and eating stuff that was horrible for my health. I never watched what I ate or how much I ate and went back up to 141 pounds. I wasn't happy, I looked in the mirror at my body and would cry. I would eat and eat and eat and then be mad and I would feel gross and depressed, and for what??? There were numberous times I cried and told my husband that I had a "problem" with food and eating too much. I was wrong, I was the problem, I THOUGHT that I wanted the food or HAD to have it, I just wasn't giving or putting in the work that I needed to put in. It wasn't going to come off eating chips and dip, and cookies, and 4 slices of pizza, I had NO control, I just kept eating and eating until I was miserable! I got tired of looking in the mirror and not being happy! A couple months ago I was going through my closet and and picked up my size 4 pants and I looked at my husband and said "Was I reallllly THAT small? I said there is NO WAY I will ever be this small again and threw them in the back of my closet and put away what I called all my "skinny clothes".. A local competition started in Fulton once again and I said this time I'm just going to do what I have to do to lose SOME weight..I thought okay well I will just lose enough to get to pre-baby weight and I will be happy, well once I started I felt great, and as more and more weight came off.. I just kept going and giving more. Last competition it was about winning money for me, this one it's about life and looking in the mirror and being proud of who I am! I've so far lost 26 pounds..getting down to 115 and I'm going to keep going from here..and let me tell you, once I hit that size 4 again, I said I was never going to go back, and I won't! It was an amazing victory for me. That feeling of happiness and how proud I felt will never leave me.  It is hard, it takes discipline, motivation.. and fighting yourself when you don't "feel" like working out. One of the worst things I've learned to say, is I will start in a couple days or next week.. The best time is always NOW! I know it's not easy sometimes and food can be sooooo good, my problem was always portion control. Learning that you can still have things you love in moderation is important, it's not called a diet, it's a lifestyle. You can still enjoy yourself and not be unhappy! I've had cheat days, I just didn't sit there and eat until I hurt, I had small portions, and enjoyed it, and I never eat the leftovers! I give myself a day ONCE in awhile, I used to eat soo much and then the next day ate all the leftovers and SO much more! Having a "cheat day" is okay, and it's something you can look forward to, you learn to appreciate it so much more when you work for it. Working out has to be a part of your lifestyle, it's important for your health, to keep your body feeling great and yourself motivated to keep going and being the YOU that you want to be. There are seriously no secrets, I haven't starved myself, I HAVE breastfed, but that has only been a small part of my weight loss, I have put a lot of work and determination into the weight I've lost. I actually had some lady say at my last competition, say "You're breastfeeding??" That's cheating!!!! WHAT?? I know it helps, but when I was not losing weight or trying, I was breastfeeding and gaining weight, it takes a lot more than just breastfeeding, at least for me it does. I haven't done anything "special" except believe in myself, and stopped waiting to be ready to lose weight. It makes me feel good that people have told me that I inspire them to lose weight, and I will always be supportive and motivating toward your weight loss goals. Message me, call me, text me anytime. I know it feels good to have support and people help push you through and tell you that you CAN do it, and the best thing to hear, is that "YOU LOOK GREAT!!"

Remember, saying I will start tomorrow or next week or next month won't help you lose weight. The best time is always NOW and I promise you will feel great reaching your goals. You CAN do it.

Get out there and tell yourself you CAN everyone!

Back for more? Yes I am!

Hey guys! I know it's been only a few short hours since I blogged you last but I just had to share my evening as well as some awesome news I found from back home in New York! 

First and Foremost, can I just say that I am extremely proud of myself. Today is the second day in a row that I have MADE myself go to the gym, and when I say made well I mean forced! Now I'm going to the small gym that my apartment complex offers. They have 2 treadmills, 2 ellipticals, a bike and some weights. Not very much to offer but I can work with it being a beginner and all. I did 2 miles on the treadmill yesterday I started out walking and worked myself up to a 3 level incline and power walking at about 3.3 mph. I attempted to run and could only do it for about .05 miles before collapsing of oxygen withdrawl. Today I did another 2 miles except I did almost the whole last mile without stopping to breath or slow down at a comfortable pace for me 4.8 mph.

That may be extremely slow for some of you super runners out there but let me tell you something, finding that comfortable pace and being able to go and go and go and oh did I mention go? without stopping, AMAZING feeling! I think I will start myself out at that comfortable pace and push myself to do better. I'm feeling really good tonight! Even better I turned on the TV at the gym and it was already on MTV playing "True Life, I'm addicted to junk food"! Motivation while working out or what?! DEFINITELY!!

NOW.... DRUM ROLL PLEASE!!!

Just browsing the internet tonight being nosey, I decided to go online to my old towns news channel site and I find an extremely inspirational man who gave me some more motivation and even better he lives in the town I went to high school in. Has tonight been a motivation night for me or what? I think so! I would love to share for all you bloggers out there that are doing what I'm doing and feel how I feel. Let this mans story motivate you to get out there and lose weight, feel good, and get in shape! 

Meet Jay Wornick from Fulton New York!

And this is his INCREDIBLE story!

Incredible weight loss lands CNY man a spot on GMA

Ready for this Journey!

Brittany is the name and OH BOY am I a complicated one. Everything I do is complicated I can take something so simple and turn it into a giant equation it's just me! I know what I want and trust me I want it BAD. As of now I hate to look in the mirror I look at all of my flaws which in my eyes is pretty much everything. The ONLY things that I like about myself are my hair, eyes, and the beauty that I hold within. 

Right now I weigh 180 pounds and maybe if I was taller it wouldn't be so bad but I'm short so it just makes me look like a frumpalump. I know that it could be worse but that doesn't excuse how I feel about myself. My whole life I've been the fat girl, always the biggest one out of all of my friends, always the biggest one at the party. It's just not fair. I want to go to the beach and wear a bikini and feel GOOD. The thought of me going to the beach in a bikini now gives me the jitters. 

Now don't get me wrong I'm not trying to put myself down or have some big pitty party for myself where everyone is invited, this is just the God's honest truth about how I feel. This is a spot for honesty right? 

Now my problem is, I can't get myself to the gym I make up every excuse in the book not to go and its ridiculous! People say "if you want it bad enough you will go". That's not the case because trust me I want it. I'm sure a lot of you have been here in this spot, "am I going to be the biggest girl at the gym?" "am I going to be able to keep up with the instructor at classes?" Is the person next to me going to hear me dying of being out of breath when I attempt to run?" I just hate all of these insecurities that I am battling every single day. 

On top of that Hi my Name is Brittany Pennington and I'm addicted to Junk Food. You are talking to a Drive through regular, chip bag popping, cookie eating fool! 

SO! Please join me in my journey to melt off of this fat and feel sexy for my husband whom by the way is the most amazing man I have ever met and thinks i'm perfect the way I am, whom also tells me I'm beautiful on a daily basis. Once again it's not what he thinks or anyone else thinks it's what I think and feel about myself. 


My goal set date is my 23rd Birthday, April 28th 2012. I want to be 50 pounds lighter. Between today and that date I'm hoping to see a complete transformation in my outer beauty, my confidence, and my over all attitude. I want to look back to this exact post and not be able to believe I felt this way. 

Now you will probably see me battle myself and argue with myself and just flat out break down. Join me, help me, support me. Any advice? I WANT IT! any tips, PASS EM ALONG! Lets get this fat off of my body and get me where I've always dreamed of being..a whopping 130 pounds! Here we go!