Ready for this Journey!

Brittany is the name and OH BOY am I a complicated one. Everything I do is complicated I can take something so simple and turn it into a giant equation it's just me! I know what I want and trust me I want it BAD. As of now I hate to look in the mirror I look at all of my flaws which in my eyes is pretty much everything. The ONLY things that I like about myself are my hair, eyes, and the beauty that I hold within. 

Right now I weigh 180 pounds and maybe if I was taller it wouldn't be so bad but I'm short so it just makes me look like a frumpalump. I know that it could be worse but that doesn't excuse how I feel about myself. My whole life I've been the fat girl, always the biggest one out of all of my friends, always the biggest one at the party. It's just not fair. I want to go to the beach and wear a bikini and feel GOOD. The thought of me going to the beach in a bikini now gives me the jitters. 

Now don't get me wrong I'm not trying to put myself down or have some big pitty party for myself where everyone is invited, this is just the God's honest truth about how I feel. This is a spot for honesty right? 

Now my problem is, I can't get myself to the gym I make up every excuse in the book not to go and its ridiculous! People say "if you want it bad enough you will go". That's not the case because trust me I want it. I'm sure a lot of you have been here in this spot, "am I going to be the biggest girl at the gym?" "am I going to be able to keep up with the instructor at classes?" Is the person next to me going to hear me dying of being out of breath when I attempt to run?" I just hate all of these insecurities that I am battling every single day. 

On top of that Hi my Name is Brittany Pennington and I'm addicted to Junk Food. You are talking to a Drive through regular, chip bag popping, cookie eating fool! 

SO! Please join me in my journey to melt off of this fat and feel sexy for my husband whom by the way is the most amazing man I have ever met and thinks i'm perfect the way I am, whom also tells me I'm beautiful on a daily basis. Once again it's not what he thinks or anyone else thinks it's what I think and feel about myself. 


My goal set date is my 23rd Birthday, April 28th 2012. I want to be 50 pounds lighter. Between today and that date I'm hoping to see a complete transformation in my outer beauty, my confidence, and my over all attitude. I want to look back to this exact post and not be able to believe I felt this way. 

Now you will probably see me battle myself and argue with myself and just flat out break down. Join me, help me, support me. Any advice? I WANT IT! any tips, PASS EM ALONG! Lets get this fat off of my body and get me where I've always dreamed of being..a whopping 130 pounds! Here we go!